A Memorial for Mimi
2003 – 2020
Thursday, November 19th at 3:10 am Mimi’s heart stopped beating and my heart cracked and fractured into a thousand pieces.
The sadness I am feeling is overwhelming and my tears won’t stop as I write this. After my days work is done and I walk into my apartment in Raleigh or Philadelphia, Mimi is everywhere I look but, she’s nowhere, and for the first time I can remember…
I am lonely.
She lived a good life I’m told and this I know, it doesn’t blunt the trauma of an emergency euthansia of a helpless creature I have nurtured, protected and loved. It’s an experience that is dreadful and life changing no matter how many times we go through it.
I felt immediate guilt that somehow I should have known how to save her. That has morphed into regret that I sometimes resented having to go out in the cold at night for her bedtime walk or drag myself out of bed for her early morning walk in the snow or the sweltering heat. Now I would give anything to still be doing those walks. Why didn’t I know that, why did I ever complain.
My life with Mimi was different than with any other pet. It was just, Mimi and Me.
While I’ve been in the US filming Love it or List it for the last 6 years, she was by my side literally every day and every night. My constant companion.
Her intuitive, steadfast emotional support helped me through the worst times, and her love and joy amplified the best times. I’ve learned the beauty of being in the moment to bask in every moment of love Mimi had to offer me.
In the last few years, as Mimi grew older there were times when it seemed as though it was hopeless and she wouldn’t make it this time. But, her care by her devoted veterinarian Dr. Mendise in Raleigh, and the midnight runs to the team at NC State Veterinary Hospital pulled her from the brink so many times I thought she was invincible. I gave her nightly massages, dabbed vaseline on her old dry nose and it seemed as though I could outsmart the grim reaper and keep her with me forever. I made no plans for a vacation if she couldn’t come with me. No dinner over 2 hours long, she would panic without me for longer.
My life was as devoted to Mimi as hers was to mine.
I will grieve this loss and accept the pain. But I don’t want to be maudlin.
I want to celebrate Mimi’s life.
This video of some of the moments we’ve shared over the years as my Memorial to Mimi and my thanks to so many of you who loved Mimi from afar.
I know so many of you understand exactly what I’m going through.
Love and Loss is part of all our lives. Let’s celebrate Mimi remembering her with smiles and the kinship of fearless per owners willing to suffer the pain of the inevitable loss to luxuriate in the glorious years of bonding and love like no other.